I remember my wife and I coming out of the rehabilitation center. Looking at each other with sorrow, knowing that the insurance would no longer pay for my rehabilitation visits. We did not know were to turn for help. We were financially strapped with me unable to even stand up by myself, no less work.   Knowing if I did not do SOMETHING I would never get better. I remember my wife saying “It will be okay, I will do your physical therapy with you.” yes" But now with two jobs, her time would be limited, so I needed to find something that would work my entire body, and not take a lot of time. Knowing what I had done for the last three months had done nothing for me, I wondered if exercising was even worth the effort.I thought to myself, I should just sit here and stop bothering everyone.   A friend of ours gave us a flyer had information on it about a stroke group that was meeting at the YMCA in our small town. My wife and I were hesitant about going to another stroke meeting. Everyone at the meetings seemed to have lost hope, not what I wanted to hear. I did not want to learn to live with my stroke, I wanted to recover from it. They just kept telling us that we would learn to live with it and adjust to the difficulties. So when we received the flyer we were hesitant about attending another meeting.

As I look back on those times now, it is difficult for me to remember what I was like eighteen months ago. My wife being the kind soul that she is would not let anyone take pictures or videos of me, because she did not want me to be embarrassed by the way I looked and functioned. But now looking back I sometimes wish I had those pictures or video to compare my progress to. It is like the person who puts on forty pounds, but you never notice, because you see them every day. Taking the pictures or videos will help you through those times when your progress will be slow. To know you have accomplished even the smallest of tasks and have something to compare it to.

I was a work-a-holic before my stroke. I was working all the time. It was my way of life. So when I had a stroke and could not do anything work related it was devastating to me. I kept setting goals I knew in my heart I could not accomplish. I just kept setting them too high. So one thing I would like to share is for you to set realistic goals. If you can not walk today, do not set a goal to run tomorrow, it just won’t happen. Set small stepping goals that are realistic for your stage of recovery. But don’t give up. Some goals you will accomplish faster than others will.

I think determination and dedication have been the two most deciding factors in my recovery so far. Everyday I give 110% to getting better and knowing if I just keep trying and don’t give up, there is nothing that can not be accomplished. I’m not saying it’s not been hard times. If you are struggling with depression, don’t hesitate to seek counseling, or support groups, because they sever the purpose of sharing your hurt, anger and frustrations. Then learn to use those feelings as motivation, not as reasons to give up.

I had my stroke on June 21, 1999. I left the hospital, unable to even sit up. Now after eighteen months, I CAN WALK WITHOUT ASSISTANCE!!! It’s hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it is do-able. I ‘m proof of that! Having a stroke is nothing to be ashamed of but giving in to a stroke is.

Survivor 2000